


All That We Are

by latiburona



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Male-Female Friendship, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining, Reader-Insert, idk anymore because they are in college now???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25190446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latiburona/pseuds/latiburona
Summary: The relationship that had been built between you and Asahi over the last three years was an odd one. You had met each other in high school but never made it past friendly acquaintances. It wasn’t until a chance encounter in the lobby of your apartment complex that the two of you had started to become close. After you had a break down and dropped out of your first year at university, you felt lost -- not quite ready to start your life and not quite ready to go home. You were a big fish in a small pond at Karasuno, but once you moved to Tokyo, you found yourself drowning. Asahi had become your life raft in the huge, unfamiliar city that had threatened to pull you under.A collection of oneshots centered on your budding relationship with Asahi Azumane as you both navigate through adult life.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	All That We Are

_Somewhere, far away from here  
I saw stars, stars that I could reach  
It was a midnight, a silent twilight  
Fell down, beyond the ocean beach_

“Asahi?”

His chest tightened the second he heard your voice over the phone. A delicate rasp that you attempted to mask with the slow, steady pacing of your words. But he knew.

“Can you meet me at the station?”

He always knew.

“Um, of course! I’ll be right there! Just wait for me, okay?” He answered, cradling his cell between his shoulder and head while he struggled to get his shoelaces tied fast enough.

“Okay.”

The relationship that had been built between you and Asahi over the last three years was an odd one. You had met each other in high school but never made it past friendly acquaintances. Even though you had been in the same class, your social circles didn’t quite sync up, especially considering he spent most of his time with the volleyball club and you did not. It wasn’t until a chance encounter in the lobby of your apartment complex that the two of you had started to become close.

After you had a break down and dropped out of your first year at university, you felt lost -- not quite ready to start your life and not quite ready to go home. You were a big fish in a small pond at Karasuno, but once you moved to Tokyo, you found yourself drowning. Asahi had become your life raft in the huge, unfamiliar city that had threatened to pull you under. Occasional meetups to catch up quickly turned into movies every Friday night and beer and ramen every Saturday night. Casual conversations about the weather and missing high school became long discussions about worries, aspirations and everything that came with growing up. You each had someone to confide in and suddenly, you could breathe again.

You were both near inseparable. Until your on again off again boyfriend of five years reappeared into your life about four months into the friendship. You had fallen so hard for him at such a young age, you missed all the red flags. But Asahi saw them. And he hated it. He hated the way your boyfriend treated you like a child who was incapable of making a sound decision yourself and required the majority of your attention. The man was more often than not the cause of your downward spirals, whether it was with a snide comment he made about one of your choices or when he decided to break it off with you because he simply got bored.

It was a vicious cycle he was all too familiar with. You would call. You would timidly ask him to meet you somewhere – usually the train station. He would drop everything he was doing and go straight to you. Then he would stay, just listening, until you felt like you could handle being alone again.

This wasn’t one sided, however. For all the times you called him crying, you were there to talk him down from his self doubt and panic attacks. The things he had been slowly improving on since he was seventeen but couldn’t fully shake. But, with your help, they had become softer and less frequent and it was amazing how you could do that.  
One of you was always there, ready to pull the other back up if either of you ever fell, no matter what.

The train car you both sat in was nearly empty and almost completely silent, except for the soft whimpers coming from your hunched frame, swallowed up in a dark, oversized hoodie, sitting next to him. Asahi kept his eyes focused on the large window containing the passing scenery. The houses grew few and far between and then eventually turned into rocky formations that stood firm against the harsh waves of the ocean.

He remembered back to the first night you had called him. The way he grew frantic upon hearing the graveness in your voice. He ran up the stairs to your apartment three floors above his, taking two steps at a time, forgoing the elevator because he was afraid it’d be too slow. You jumped and whipped your head around when Asahi burst in with a loud slam of your door.

The sight of the large man in your doorway, panting with a panicked expression on his face mere seconds after you hand hung up with each other caused you to forget everything except that moment. And you laughed. Not at your friend, but out of relief. Relief that you somehow managed to have someone in your life that would care enough to run to you like that. It rumbled up from the pit of your stomach and bubbled out of you, tears still streaming down you face, further alarming your confused friend who rushed over to crouch down in front of you, unsure of how to help. You reassured him that his presence alone was enough once your fit had subsided and then suggested that the two of you go sit up on the roof.

That was the first night he had witnessed one of your breakups, and he could not for the life of him remember the reason why it had happened in the first place. That was also the night that you vowed to be a support for him with the same amount of selflessness and enthusiasm that he had been for you. And, that was the night, up on that roof with the cool night breeze and city lights reflected in your eyes, that Asahi realized he was falling in love with you.

Together, the both of you walked along the water’s edge, not saying a word. Asahi was always careful not to push you into talking. He knew you would open up when you were ready. You always did. His eyes were trained on the sky, its unique shade of pink caused by the mingling of the twilight’s oranges and purples. He didn’t even notice when you had stopped to remove your shoes and socks.

Once he realized you were no longer next to him, he turned back, catching you a few paces behind him, slowly crouching down to the sand. He walked back and sat beside you, watching as you palmed at the sand, its coarse particles falling through your soft fingers. You started digging, deeper and deeper, until you reached the damp earth, pulling it up to form small mounds. Then Asahi, catching on to what you were doing, began patting down the sides of your makeshift sandcastle.

“He said…” You swallowed hard, refusing to allow the sob you felt traveling up your throat to escape. Asahi continued to scoop up sand, silently waiting for you to finish your thoughts. He looked up a moment and caught a glimpse of your eyes, red, glassed over and puffy. His chest felt heavy and suddenly it was difficult for him to breathe, tears of his own pricking at the corners of his eyes. He cursed internally and tore his gaze away, the empathy he felt towards you too intense.

“He said he was tired of this….” you tried again, “That he needed to be with someone with more direction.”

Asahi took in a deep, shaky breath. “That’s not fair. You shouldn’t be punished for trying to find happiness.” His hands formed tight fists, the skin turning lighter from pulling over his knuckles. “I’ve always wished I could be like you, [y/n]. You’re able to just… jump. I’ve gotten better at it but… I still can’t really bring myself to do it. Not like you.” His voice remained gentle but was steady as his frustrations spilled out of him all at once. “So what if you don’t know exactly what you want for yourself? You’re not afraid to take risks and if something bad happens, you pick yourself right back up and try something else. [Y/N], that’s a gift.”

Air was stuck in your throat and your eyes grew wide, frozen in place by his words. All this time you had been told that you were unreliable and that you needed to settle down. That even though you were able to support yourself on your own, your constant job hopping made you irresponsible. Then here was Asahi, telling you he admired it, that it was valuable, dismantling years of insecurity in less than five minutes. You blinked a few times, taking time to process what he had said and attempting to bring yourself back to life. Suddenly you stood straight up, eyes cast out to the horizon. “I think I’m done,” you firmly announced, startling your friend.

Asahi slowly rose to his feet, side eyeing you suspiciously, unbale to get a read on your expression. This had definitely been one of your quicker outings. “You sure you’re ready to go back?”

You shook your head, gaze still fixed on the waves, “No. With him. We’re finished.” Your legs moved instinctively towards the ocean. “I’m tired of talking through the same things and I don’t need to keep doing this to myself.” Asahi’s hand reached out to catch your shoulder but caught nothing but air as you marched further out into the water, the freezing ocean eventually rising to above your knees. His eyes grew wide and a familiar panic set into his face, finally registering what you were doing.

Once the water had reached your thighs, you turned back to see him, swiftly pacing back and forth while calling out to you, trying to figure out the best way he could bring you back to shore while staying as dry as possible. A smile crept onto your face and broke out into a fit of giggles, the calming sensation of relief overtaking you. The kind that only he had ever been able to provide for you. Asahi stopped immediately in his tracks when he heard the melody of your laughter.

He caught a glimpse of your smile and the anxiety that had commandeered his senses dissipated, relaxation instead melting away the stiffness in his muscles. His breath hitched as he felt heat rise to his cheeks. That was the smile that told him that there was nothing to be afraid of. That smile meant more to him than anything in the world.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath through your nose, and fell, giving way to a soft smack the moment your back hit the water. The sound of vast emptiness filled your ears, allowing you to focus on the rise and fall of your chest as you floated there. Even from thirty feet away, you had been able to see the tenderness in his eyes when he looked   
at you, further amplifying your feeling of weightlessness.

When your eyes opened, they were met with the dim twinkling of stars against a muted blue sky, signaling that it would be night soon. You thought back to Asahi, who was no doubt sweating bullets at the fact that you had not returned and smiled. He had proven time and time again that he would always be there for you. He had taken on such a huge part in defending your happiness you hadn’t realized that he actually made up the majority of it.

For so long, you had believed you wouldn’t amount to much. That your life was marked by more failures than it was by successes. But you had been wrong. The only failures had been when you allowed your fear to control your life. And while you had learned some hard lessons, the happiness that grew from them far outweighed the pain. It took a while, but Asahi had shown you that your happiness was worth more than anything else.

And you loved him for it.

Asahi slumped into his seat and let out an exasperated sigh once you both had settled yourselves on the train home. “Damn, [y/n],” he began, a hand clutching his chest. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days you know that?”

A playful smirk formed on your lips as you remembered back to the way he nervously rambled on about how you were going to get sick when you trudged back to the beach. The only thing of yours that had remained dry were your shoes, which he carefully guarded until you returned. He had also kindly rushed to the nearest gift shop to find some suitable bottoms for you to wear, too embarrassed to have his giant hoodie that you practically swam in be the only thing you clothed yourself with.

You lightly pushed against his side with your shoulder and allowed yourself to linger there. “You love it.”

He coughed erratically, a desperate ‘I do’ choking him. The spontaneity you had brought into his life was, in fact, something he loved, though he wasn’t sure how much more of it his poor heart could take. But he would try, for you.

Asahi cleared his throat, “You’re super lucky you left your phone at home, you know?" He had attempted to change the subject, hoping the rapid beating of his heart would subside soon. He doubted it.

“Yeah.” You looked up at him through your lashes before looking back to the window, opaque with the night sky, causing your small, relaxed frame and his large, stiff one to be reflected back at you. You were unsure if the heat that radiated off of him or the recent revelation of your romantic feelings for your friend was causing you to feel flushed. Either way, it dangerously inviting. And it felt like home. “I know.”

_So never look behind you, spooky people bring you down  
The world is ending there's a party by the bay  
I'll wear my suit and tie, we’re eye to eye and toasting  
To the way you put that smile upon my face_

**Author's Note:**

> Who would have guessed I would be inspired to write for Asahi while I listened to Blue October?
> 
> NOT ME that's for sure, but you know here we are.
> 
> I'm looking forward to writing more for this collection.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Any feedback is appreciated.


End file.
